This is my reply to the rude email a kid sent to Find Chaffy asking for a soft toy. I’m too soft, I know.

To: findchaffy@yahoo.com

January 15th 2012

LISTEN YOU I HAVE EMAILED YOU LODES OF TIMES AND YOU HAVE NOT REPLAYED SO HEAD MY WARNING IF YOU DON`T REPLY THEN THERE WILL BE TROUBLE.

Jamie M*****

In reply:

January 17th 2012

Dear Jamie,

Thank you for your email. I must apologize for taking so long to reply, we do get a lot of mail for Chaffy and try to reply to everyone, but it can take a while sometimes.

We haven’t had any emails from you, although we have had two from a different email address which shares your surname. I’m assuming that’s you? Those were two weeks ago.

Chaffies are quite rare and often hard to find, sometimes when we do find one we send it out to a child who may look after it. Your email sounded quite threatening, mainly the bit with the threat in it. But you also wrote with the caps lock on, which as everyone knows, multiplies that threat by about fifteen. I’m not sure a Chaffy would enjoy that sort of anger.

It’s not nice sending emails like that.

By the way, you misspelled ‘loads’, ‘replied’, and ‘heed’. Also there are some grammatical issues, but once you’re writing in capitals grammar is pretty much a free for all anyway.

Thank you again for getting in touch.

Jamie (oh hey, look, we share a name).

17 Jan • 18 notes • ∞
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